I haven’t posted in a while, because I have been so busy and scared and so fearful of my future. Today I realized that I’ve come so so far in the past year of being here.
I wanted to post something because this past week I started My artists recovery through the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron again, and I’ve been going through a HUGE transition.
I wanted to give up on my dreams yesterday, so I went up in class and I told my teacher, “I really just wanted to sing today.” And I did. I wanted to feel what performing felt like again, because I feel like I have so much to give and little opportunity to share it.
Which isn’t true, but that’s what class is for. I’m working my ass off to make more films for my reel, writing my own tv series and film, I’m singing day in and day out. And sometimes I feel empty. I feel like why am I not making it yet?
That’s where patience, trust and love in yourself has to kick in. Recognize what you are doing right on this chase to your dream. Not everything will come at once.
I remember in a stage combat class, whenever we dropped our knives we had to shout “Learning!” And then we had to pick it up.
So whenever I have a bad thought come to my head like “you’re not good enough, you will never book anything.” I drop that thought, and I say to that thought. “Learning!” And I follow it with a reframe such as: “People will cast me in their films, because I have so much joy, passion, heart and talent to bring to my roles and to their sets.” So during (and after) I sang I realized I wasn’t in touch with the piano but I’m learning! And that’s what matters. It’s all a process.
Learning. #selflove #learning #musicaltheatre #actress #heathersthemusical #losangelesactress #growth #musicaltheatreactress #singing #singersofinstagram